The Mid-Year Check-In
Are you a New Year’s resolution type of person?
I know they irritate a lot of people, but I love making them. This year, my resolution was to treat homemaking like a big experiment, and to approach it with curiosity instead of obligation. I didn’t blog about it at the time, but I did make a video sharing the launch of my “Homemaking Lab” (check it out on my Facebook Page here).
Now that we are at the mid-way point of the year, I thought it would be the perfect time to share what my experiments have found so far, and exactly what I am doing with those results.
(Note: This post contains affiliate links through Bookshop.org. If you choose to purchase any of my cozy recommendations through these links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you, which helps support independent, local bookshops and keeps the Cozy Magic Inn running!)
Finding #1: Being a SAHM and Primary Caretaker is Exhausting
I already knew this, of course.
But conducting this curiosity-led experiment forced me to look directly at how exhausted and overwhelmed I truly am as a stay-at-home mom and the primary caretaker of our home.
Trying to manage the needs of two young children who are six years apart in age, while simultaneously carrying the lion’s share of household management, has left me feeling frazzled. At some point in the day, my husband and I are supposed to hang out, and I am supposed to somehow manage my own social and health needs, too.
It feels so frustrating. I constantly see other creators online with bigger families, bigger homes, and fewer resources who seem to gracefully juggle life much better than I can. I’m truly happy for them, but for a variety of reasons, I just can’t do it to the high standards I feel my family deserves.
Finding #2: I Actually Love My Job (I Just Hate the Overwhelm)
Having said all of that, I want to stay home with my kids. I love that I can, and I genuinely love being a homemaker.
I am just overwhelmed by how much needs to be done. Still, it remains one of the biggest honors and privileges of my life to create a sanctuary for my family.
Realizing that made me pause. The work itself isn’t actually the problem.
So, what is?
Finding #3: The Plan Wasn’t Broken, My Approach Was
My main problem was the baseline approach I was taking.
To be completely honest, I often feel like I don’t know what I’m doing, either with parenting or with homemaking. And for a long time, that uncertainty was guiding every single move I made.
I was constantly seeking answers externally. I followed homemaking plans devised by strangers. I tried parenting styles that didn’t fit my family’s personality just because they looked peaceful online. I tried to emulate the lifestyles of other lifestyle influencers because they really looked like they had their shit together.
The Next Step: Figuring Out What Works for Me
I started studying my own triggers.
For instance, I know I feel severely overstimulated if I have to do a massive clean while the kids are awake and making noise (which feels like all the time). So, I started using nap-time to clean, plugging in headphones to listen to podcasts.
At first, I listened to a lot of true crime, but I noticed it was spiking my anxiety. Looking for a change, I decided to download the audio book The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst simply because I saw it recommended online.
I fell head over heels in love with the genre. Embarrassingly, prior to this, the only proper fantasy I had ever read was Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. I genuinely cannot believe how much magic I had been missing out on.
I decided to start carving out my early mornings to read instead of forcing myself to immediately work out or clean. I devoured Howl’s Moving Castle (even though I’ve watched the Studio Ghibli movie a fair few times) and fell slightly in love with that world. I found myself washing dishes and wondering: How would Sophie Hatter deal with the running of my home?
From there, I moved on to Sangu Mandanna‘s The Very Irregular Society of Witches and A Witch’s Guide to Magical Innkeeping (side note: as a British Indian woman, I loved that the main characters were British Indian and witches), and Travis Baldree‘s Legends & Lattes. I started wishing with all my heart that I lived in a cozy, magical fantasy inn.
And then a teeny-tiny voice in my head asked, ‘Well…why can’t you?’
So that’s what I decided to do.
Channeling My Inner Sasha Fierce
I know I can’t live in an actual fantasy world (sadly). But there is absolutely no reason why I can’t think of my own home as an inn.
It made me think of Beyoncé. Early in her career, she famously created her “Sasha Fierce” persona to help her step into her power as an artist.
So, I built an alter ego. If I am going to view my home as a bustling magical inn, then I think it is only fair to give my job title an upgrade too. No longer am I Amrita, the tired, unsure, overwhelmed SAHM.
I am Amrita – the Head Innkeeper of The Cozy Magic Inn.
And that one mental shift completely changed how I manage my home.
Changing the Game: Homemaker vs. Innkeeper
When I changed my thinking, my entire approach shifted:
| Amrita the Overwhelmed Homemaker | Amrita the Head Innkeeper |
|---|---|
| Cleans out of constant obligation and guilt. | Welcomes her family like beloved travelers. |
| Runs on an all-or-nothing battery until she crashes. | Protects her baseline hospitality with daily anchor rituals. |
| Feels resentful when family members don’t notice the mess. | Treats deep-cleaning projects like fun dungeon raids. |
| Suffers from constant analysis paralysis. | Unapologetically activates her “Zero-Battery Survival Map” on 10% days. |
Stepping into the shoes of Amrita the Head Innkeeper has allowed me to consider another narrative about how I run my home. My alter ego (and now that I think about it, how Tarot works for me too) helps me break the cyclical thinking I appear to engage in—that I am an exhausted, overwhelmed mother who cannot be trusted to make the right decisions for my family and home.
As Amrita the Head Innkeeper, I have a daily rhythm to keep the Inn sailing smoothly, but I’m ready for any adventure or mischief that may sweep through my door.
Why is it easier to do this as a magical innkeeper? I’m going to take a wild guess and say it’s the novelty of a new approach.
The Power of Novelty
This article from Psychology Today talks about why novelty is well and truly magical.
Specifically, it lists these as benefits of adding a bit of novelty to your life:
- Boost Creativity: New experiences stimulate divergent thinking, helping us see problems from fresh perspectives.
- Improve Memory: Novelty enhances neuroplasticity—our brain’s ability to form new connections—making us better at retaining information.
- Increase Happiness: Experiencing something new can break the monotony and provide a sense of adventure, leading to greater overall life satisfaction. The thrill and energy of doing new activities, seeing new things, or learning something new creates an investment in your life. (Karyn Hall, Ph.D. 2025)
Creating an alter ego and changing how I look at my homemaking has definitely been an exercise in creative thinking. Framing my maintenance quests (chores) this way has broken the monotony I was experiencing by following traditional homemaking routines.
Does it feel a little bit silly to take this approach as a 42-year-old Mum of two? Yes.
But as it comes along with a smoother-running home, an increase in my personal happiness, and no longer feeling like there is something wrong with me because I want to add a little play and whimsy to my day, I’ll take it.
An Invitation to join The Cozy Magic Guild
If you are struggling to create or follow a traditional homemaking routine, I’m here to tell you it’s okay.
Yes, you can learn from the experience of others (I definitely have), but we are the sovereign rulers of our homes. This means we can keep, break, and create as many rules for homemaking as we see fit.
If you are not sure where to start, join my monthly newsletter community. It’s where I share the cozy fantasy books I’m devouring, monthly tarot reflections, and practical ideas to add a little magic to your space. As a thank you for stepping into the tavern, you’ll instantly get a copy of my Domestic Rituals Starter Kit, including the exact emergency roadmap I use to keep the inn running when my personal battery hits zero.
Have any questions? Drop me a line at hello@cozymagichome.com. I read every single message and, barring any unexpected chaos here at the Inn, I’ll get back to you ASAP.
Until the next magical mess,
Amrita