If you want to show up in your daily life as the best possible homemaker, there is one key thing you need to include in your homemaking routine, more important than any home management system you adopt. It is (drum roll please)…
You cannot pour from an empty cup, and running on fumes will lead to burn out, frustration, and a martyr complex (well, it did for me).
None of this lends to imbuing your home with the cozy, magical vibes we all deserve.
Here is what I do as a homemaker to make sure my self-care needs are addressed.
Address Health Issues
SELF-CARE LESSON: Your needs deserve attention.
When I first became a homemaker, I found it to be an isolating experience. A few years later, adding a child, and a global pandemic to the mix did not help.
I was fortunate that I was eventually able to get access to a great psychiatry team, who found appropriate therapy for me. Addressing my mental health needs led me to dealing with my physical health needs too, which thankfully also improved my mental health.
Until I dealt with the issues I had, I couldn’t show up as the mother, wife, or homemaker that I knew I was, or who my family deserved.
But as an individual, you absolutely deserve to live a (mental and physical) pain free existence. It can feel like a struggle to get the help you deserve, but there are resources available.
RESOURCES
Mental Health
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: Call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)
Parent Stress Line: Call 1-800-632-8188 via Parents Helping Parents.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Physical Health
The National Association of Free and Charitable Clinics – https://nafcclinics.org/
It may also be worth contacting your local health or social work department to see area specific resources
NOTE: These are USA specific resources, which I have not personally used or vetted in anyway. Feel free to drop a comment if you know of any resources, or have recommendations.
Outsource What You Can
Self-Care Lesson: You don’t have to do everything yourself.
If you feel like it is physically impossible to get everything done, you are right. It is.
So if you are able to do so, outsource what you can.
Personally, the idea of shopping and managing my kids in a grocery store, and then coming home to put away the groceries and cooking makes me feel nauseous. So I have my groceries delivered.
When I was pregnant, I used to have someone else come over to deal with my yard (side note: Summer pregnancy’s are no joke). I know other people who have a cleaning service come in to do weekly homekeeping.
Getting help, whether it is for your health or to deal with a chore you can’t do is not a sign of weakness. Rather admitting you need help is a healthy sign of strength.
And getting help with a chore you don’t want to do? Don’t we all wish we had that option?
If you are able to get additional help, don’t waste your time feeling guilty. Rather, I hope you feel proud that you are managing your time and resources to improve your happiness and efficiency in the things you are able to do.
HAVING AN ENERGY BASED HOMEMAKING ROUTINE
SELF-CARE LESSON: Your routine should adapt to you, not the other way around.
I currently have three routines, when I have high energy, when I have baseline energy, and when I have low energy.
In an ideal world, when my mental/physical health is at a low, I would spend all day resting. But that is something not many people have the luxury to do, especially as a parent.
An energy based system means I can take care of my family and home, all while honoring and respecting the fact that I need rest right now.
Even the moon has it phases, and we aren’t going out to the nightly sky, shaking our fist at the moon for being in the ‘wrong’ phase.
Accept everyday has will look different, and you too have your ebbs and flows.
DO SOMETHING THAT SPARKS JOY
SELF-CARE LESSON: You deserve to have a life outside of your responsibilities.
I consider myself a sewist, and a reader. I love the escapism it brings, the tactile experience, and the ideas it sparks in me.
But as mum to young kids, I don’t always find time to get cozy with a book, or to work on a sewing project.
So I have started keeping something I can read in practically every room in our home. Books, magazines, newspapers. I also have audiobooks and e-readers always ready to go.
I also love writing down ideas, so small notebooks and a cute little pen available everywhere to jot down ideas/thoughts (but my kids think those are a group project and also doodle in my journals).
And when I do get the odd occasion to watch TV, I try to keep a hand-sewing project at hand.
I would love to spend all day reading, or on a big sewing project, but that’s not my reality right now. So I’ll squeeze it into whatever pocket of time I get.
But just because I am unable to spend the amount of time I want to do something, doesn’t mean I can’t do it at all. I’ll just do it ‘imperfectly’ instead.
This of course is dependent on what your hobby is, and if you have dependents or not. It’s a little easier the more independent my youngest is getting.
Homemaker Observation Journal
A prompt for your journal:
If you feel comfortable doing so, feel free to drop your ideas in the comments! Or email me at hello@cozymagichome.com, I love getting emails.
homemaker resources
If you think you might need some help reading your home’s rhythms and creating a personalized routine for your home, I might have just the thing for you!
Check out my ‘Whimsical Household Rhythm Guide’ on Etsy. You can read more about the guide itself on this blog post, but basically the guide was written to gently help you create daily rituals to achieve your home goals without the guilt.
Not sure you want to spend money on it yet? That’s okay! You can try out the freebie version by signing up for my monthly newsletter. As a thank you, you’ll get a copy of ‘The Domestic Rituals Starter Kit’, which will give you ideas on how to create your own micro-systems, and a copy of the ‘zero-battery’ survival map.
Again, feel free to email me! I love hearing from you, and would love to help you however I can in your own homemaking journey.
Until the next magical mess
Amrita
Leave a Reply