Why I Quit Googling Better Homemaker Habits
Have you ever been told ‘just Google it’?
I have. Quite a lot actually (I ask a lot of questions), so now I have a habit of Googling every problem, including the problem I found myself facing in 2015 when I first became a homemaker.
‘How do I become a better homemaker’?
At the time, I was pleasantly surprised. There are people out there teaching exactly what I wanted to learn, and so I could become a better homemaker. There are hundreds of articles, books, groups, and even some philosophies to guide you on your way.
The advice I found covered everything. Meal plans, daily routines, dress guides, mindsets, even hobbies. All promising to support you to live a more domesticated life.
And after years of trying other people’s formulas for my own home, here are two things I have noticed:
Most Advice Assumes a Default Life
So much of the homemaking advice I have seen advises to get up before the other household members to get a start on your day.
I’m lucky to get 4 straight hours of sleep, so getting up earlier felt like self-sabotage.
Of course no-one can account for everyone’s individual circumstances, that would be impossible to do.
But there appears to be a lot of assumption that as homemakers, we all have similar lives and support systems, so can all adopt the same habits.
It can make someone who is already struggling feel even more behind.
Other People’s Frameworks Aren’t Built for Your House
There is a plethora of cleaning schedules, timetables, routines available to someone who wants to build a bit of homemaking structure into their day.
And don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the work these people have put in. Heck, I’ve even purchased a few plans myself. It’s helpful when you are starting out and need a stepping stone to start.
But someone else’s work didn’t answer the questions for my home. It didn’t consider my needs, my family’s needs, our home.
What I should have recognized as a difference of opinion felt like a deficiency.
The Shift
My home started to feel less cozy. I was anxious I was missing something all the time, whether the house was clean or not.
Then one day I realized that while I had been doing a ton of research, I wasn’t really taking the time to observe and record the results.
Did the allocated cleaning days work with our personal schedule?
Which rooms were getting messy the quickest?
Where were our clutter magnets?
What tasks felt heavy vs neutral?
When does my laundry system actually break?
So for around 2 weeks, I did no Googling.
No advice.
No template.
Just pure hard data.
What Changed
I started recognizing my skills.
Taking a minute to think about solutions instead of seeking an external source straight away made me realize I actually knew more than I thought I did.
Yes it took longer, but both the home and I survived being in an ‘imperfect’ state while I figured things out.
I found systems that worked for me
I’m not a big fan of doing laundry.
And while most homemaking advice I’ve seen suggests doing a load a day, I try to do all the laundry between Monday-Thursday.
It means three blissful days where I didn’t have to think about laundry. My workload has increased over the other four days, but the peace of mind it brings me over the weekend is worth it.
And it isn’t just laundry I found a system for. Everything from daily home rhythms to annual home maintenance, I’ve slowly been able to figure out a way that it works for me.
Is my system perfect? Probably not, but everything gets done.
Done beats perfect every time.
I began to develop a philosophy behind my homemaking
I’d been treating homemaking as a series of tasks to get done, and I realized that is why my home didn’t feel ‘homey’.
This experiment really made me take stock of how I wanted my home to feel, not just for me and my family, but for anyone who would ever come here. I started working around the house with that end goal in mind, and I guess that is how Cozy Magic Home was born. You can read more about my philosophy here (link to manifesto).
Invitation
Before you Google your next homemaking frustration, try observing it for a week.
You might discover the problem isn’t lack of advice.
It’s lack of authorship.
Until next time,
