That’s easy advice to give and much harder to do when you’re juggling children, work, relationships, finances, and the eternal question of what’s for dinner.
So where do you actually begin?
I can’t tell you which homemaking system will work for your family. But I can introduce you to the people who helped me build mine.
At A glance
Marla Cilley – Fly Lady
Marla Cilley, more commonly known as the Fly Lady, appears to be popular with people who don’t know how to start taking care of their home, and for good reason.
The FlyLady Method is what made learning homemaking feel manageable when I first tried to figure out how to keep home. Her approach is one I’ve got to constantly remind myself about. Take baby steps. Focus on one skill at a time.
So that’s what I did. I made sure no matter how insane the rest of the day was, my dishes were washed and my sink was shining before I went to bed.
What surprised me about that approach is that after about two months of that, my husband started doing it too, completely unprompted (at the time, he was working 80 hour weeks, so I didn’t expect anything housework wise from him).
Not only did it make me realize how much I appreciated a clean sink, and loved my husband, as a homemaker, I realized I actually was in a strong position of role modeling and leadership.
Homemaking isn’t just about completing chores. It’s also about quietly shaping the habits and culture of the household.
| What I Kept | What Didn’t Fit My Home |
| Anchoring Baby Steps Consistency | Following someone else’s routine |
KC Davies – How to Keep Home When Drowning
I came across KC Davies in 2025, not too long after having my second baby. I was having a hard time navigating becoming a Mum of two and keeping my home clean. I felt like a terrible mother and wife because my husband was working hard for us outside of our home, and would come back to a chaotic house and a takeout bag, and I felt that by having a messy home, I wasn’t providing a safe environment for my family.
KC helped me see I wasn’t going to be able to do much if I wasn’t taking care of myself, and it led to me getting the ball rolling on self-care, which of course led to made it easier to take care of everyone else . She also helped ease some of the eco-anxiety I feel when I opt for convenience products over climate friendly products.
| What I Kept | What Didn’t Fit My Home |
| Zero energy days Homemaking is morally neutral attitude Self-care | I needed something more structured for my everyday |
Auri Kananen
Auri is a little ray of sunshine.
She cleans for people who desperately need help in getting their home environments safe and hygienic. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen a video of hers where she hasn’t risen to the challenge.
Watching Auri changed how I think about messy homes. She never seems interested in deciding whether someone deserves help. She simply notices that they need it.
She also made me realize that while there are people who will always judge me, there are also people who will be willing to help, no matter how bad things get. I need to learn how to ask for help more often.
Also her before and afters are so satisfying!
| What I Kept | What Didn’t Fit My Home |
| Asking for help Judgement-free | I don’t think I can befriend the dirt, (but I am little more accepting of it). |
Martha Stewart
When I imagine myself as a homemaker, I like to think of myself as a Desi witch’s answer to Martha Stewart.
I used to think she made homemaking look so easy and effortless, but the more I learned to keep home, the more I was in awe of her skillset.
Whether she is the one performing the skill, or facilitating the learning through one of her many talented contacts, she made me realize in order to be the best version of myself (as a person and homemaker), I need to constantly be learning. This ensures I keep my skill set fresh and relevant to my home, and my mind occupied (which is great for my anxiety).
| What I Kept | What Didn’t Fit My Home |
| Constant learning Staying curious Multiple skills | The (what seems to be) perfectionism |
Nancy Birtwhistle
One of my favorite ever contestants from the GBBO, I love Nancy not only because of her fabulous bakes, but her dedication to being an eco-friendly homemaker.
Eco-friendly homemaking is something I am working towards, but it is a world that is a bit overwhelming. I’m still trying to figure out what is ‘greenwashed’ and not. Nancy has a friendly, no-nonsense approach to making homemaking more eco-friendly, which is an approach I appreciate.
| What I Kept | What I Adapted |
| Using what I have DIY attitude | Still use convenience products when needed |
Borrow ideas, not identities
All these creators taught me something more than just about keeping a clean home.
It’s that no one person has all the answers.
- FlyLady helped me build routines.
- KC Davis helped me stop feeling guilty.
- Nancy encouraged me to think about sustainability.
- Martha inspired me to keep learning.
- Auri reminded me that asking for help isn’t a weakness.
None of them gave me the perfect homemaking system.
But together, they reminded me that I didn’t have to choose just one philosophy. I could build one of my own.
I hope you’ll do that too.
Before you go
Which lesson from this list do you think your home needs most right now?
Baby steps?
More compassion?
Asking for help?
Learning a new skill?
Or becoming more sustainable?
Let me know below, or email me at hello@cozymagichome.com. I love reading your emails, and respond to all of them personally.
Until the next magical mess,
Amrita
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