It hasn’t quite been 30 days of gamifying chores in our home, but I wanted to post an update for anyone who might have been following along.
The TLDR version
Pros
- Appealed to the competitive nature of my family
- Everyone got actively involved
- The detailed sheets of what to clean in every room highlighted the ‘invisible labor’ I’ve been carrying
- Extended family helped when they realized what we were trying to accomplish
Cons
- System fell apart during a family emergency
- Work, school, and age-related safety issues meant husband and kids had less opportunities to score points
Are we going to keep doing it?
Yes, but we need to make adjustments
The longer version
A month ago, I decided to try gamifying our housework. While I know there is magic in the mundane, and I enjoy the comfort routine brings, I found myself taking on a majority of the housework, and I started to feel like some sort of martyr.
That is not the energy I wanted to bring into my home. But I was tired of feeling like I was always the person doing everything.
In the hopes that the novelty of trying something new would help me develop a less ‘woe is me’ mindset, and get my family involved too, I decided to try gamifying our chores.
I devised a plan (the link is above you want to check it out), and we’ve been trying it out for around four weeks.
Here are some of the biggest takeaways so far:
If you want everyone involved, include their preferences
This seems like a no-brainer, but I realized I have designed the domestic duties to be carried out in this home to suit only my habits and way of working.
Whilst I tried to be mindful of everyone’s schedules, so I didn’t mind taking on the lion’s share of the housework, I don’t think I have ever appealed to their way of thinking to get involved. Simply asking them helped to get a chore done, but hasn’t encouraged proactivity.
Both my husband and daughter consider themselves gamers, so adding an element of competition and play appealed to them too.
Invisible Labor and a new way of thinking
I wrote out detailed lists of what needed to be cleaned in each room, which I then laminated and stuck on the fridge, and we could cross off whatever task we had done.
My daughter especially was surprised by how many opportunities she had to gain points. For example, she had no idea the fan blades required dusting, and now it’s one of her favorite chores.
And while I don’t think I can exactly blame him as he works full-time, I think my husband saw how many times a day we need to do a quick pick up, or squeeze in a quick chore to keep the house clean.
The thing is, the tasks they are now taking responsibility for are super simple, easy tasks. But all these little tasks add up. No wonder I felt constantly overwhelmed.
It’s making me reassess all the little jobs that need to get done, and how we share those duties more equally.
System sort of fell apart during a family emergency
My husband had a medical emergency, which meant for around 3 weeks, the gamifying system kind of massively changed its original purpose.
I decided to forgo the sparkle (points) system, and let my daughter help with whatever chores that meant I didn’t have to heavily supervise, as my focus was on helping my husband recover (which is progressing beautifully).
I ended up making mini games for my daughter to do which worked well for her, and we used the detailed room guides to try and catch up with whatever we could.
I’m really glad I made the detailed room guides. Having listed out what chores needed doing in each room saved me constantly trying to remember what needed to be done, or ask someone else to do it. We were simply able to look at the list and decide if we could do something, or save it for another day.
Personally, I’d like to make a system that would still hold up in an emergency situation, but be amendable to whatever we were experiencing.
So while it didn’t fulfill its original purpose, it still sort of worked for us.
Telling people helped and it’s been a conversation opener
We had some family over to help out when my husband was recovering, and as we keep the binder, chore lists, and sparkle board where it is publicly available, it sparked questions.
For the most part, everyone seemed to think the novelty of it was fun, and were intrigued to see how it would turn out.
And while they didn’t actively carry out any of the cleaning duties, they supported my daughter to get things done (big shout out to Aunt Cindy, the MVP of our family). It was a blessing to have help, and for someone else to encourage the Pumpkinhead using the sparkle system.
Discussing the system with other family members sparked conversations about their current habits and their domestic responsibilities growing up. It got us thinking about how we can include family traditions in our daily lives. People want to help, and it made me realize that I don’t have to bear all the responsibilities and thinking.
Now that the 30 days are up, are you going to keep this system?
Yes.
But with some tweaks.
Our sparkle system needs some changing. Right now, because my husband and daughter are out of the house more than me, I tend to rack up sparkles pretty quickly. I need to change the sparkle system so the jobs they are able to do give them a fair opportunity to ‘catch up’ (seems like a great way to ‘get out of’ doing some chores I hate doing).
My kiddo loves the sparkles, but she wants something physical as her reward. We are considering DIYing some sparkle coins so we earn pocket money.
Also as I noted above, I want a system that will hold up even when life gets chaotic. This system doesn’t quite do that yet, so I’m going to keep playing around with it until we figure it out.
The Real Lesson I Learned
I have been a homemaker for 11 years to date, and for most of that time I have always followed other people’s homemaking systems.
And they have been great for learning how to run a home. But at some point, I ended up relying on them more than trusting my own instincts, or working with the needs of my family.
This has been the first time where I have taken the time to sit down and assess how I want my home to feel and look, the resources I have, the strengths and preferences of my family, and created something that works for us as a household.
Admittedly, I sometimes feel weird about our system. I wish that mainstream cleaning schedules and homemaking methods worked for us.
But apparently, they don’t work for my family. And we absolutely deserve to live in a world that works for us. Instead of trying to force a system that leaves us feeling overwhelmed and drained, I’m glad to have started something that is bringing us joy (even if it means dealing with stinky socks).
Food for thought
I’d like to invite you to take 15 minutes to think over your own homemaking schedule.
How much of it inspired by what others have told you need to do?
How much of it serves the way you want to run a home?
Feel free to share your thoughts below, or email me hello@cozymagichome.com. I love getting emails, and respond to all of them personally.
Until the next magical mess,
Amrita
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